Quick! Check your closets! Is there something green in there? Saint Patrick’s Day is fast approaching and you know what happens to those not wearing green on that fine day.

Personally, I have elementary school flashbacks every March 17. Green wasn’t one of my favorite colors as a kid so I usually got pinched . . .  a lot!  As I got smarter, I came up with the idea of pinning a four-leafed clover made of construction paper to my clothes. That little move saved me from the evil bully pinchers – you know the ones I’m talking about – the ones who pinched you so hard, they left bruises for days afterward. Enough about my tortured childhood.

For those of us who associated March 17 with pinching (and bruising), I thought I’d enlighten you all with some Saint Patrick’s Day background.

Patrick was a kid from Britain, who was captured by pirates when he was 16 and taken to Ireland. I bet you didn’t know that pirates (actually Irish raiders) were part of Saint Patrick’s Day, did you? So dressing up as a pirate would be perfectly appropriate and would show how very smart you are.

Patrick escaped, returned to Britain, got all religious and returned to Ireland because he had a dream that he was supposed to bring them Christianity. Patrick is credited with bringing the written word to Ireland and even with ridding snakes from the island. All of this earned him the spot as the Patron Saint of Ireland.

Supposedly St. Patrick died on March 17 and that’s why he gets celebrated on this day. That we know of, Patrick didn’t only wear green, didn’t pinch people not wearing green, didn’t look like one of the guys from the Lucky Charms box, didn’t have a pot of gold, and didn’t kiss the blarney stone.

So where did all that other stuff come from? Legend says that St. Patrick did use shamrocks, but the four-leaf clover is just one of the many Irish extras that got blended with Saint Patrick, along with kissing the blarney stone and leprechauns. They don’t have anything to do with St. Patty, but are fun Irish legends and myths that make it all so much more interesting. Who would want to dress like an old bearded saint from 400 AD?

But dressing up as a Leprechaun, now that’s fun and cute, and can even be really sexy. And looking like a sexy leprechaun could definitely help you get lucky. And since it’s green it will keep you pinch-free. Just so you can look really smart, here’s the lowdown on leprechauns.

Leprechauns were little Irish sprites, whose job was to fix the shoes of fairies. The fairies paid the leprechauns with gold coins, which the little guys collected in pots. If you catch a leprechaun, and don’t take your eyes off him, you can get his gold.

The whole thing about wearing green, and getting pinched if you don’t, was started by schoolchildren. I knew it!  Ireland is a land filled with greenery, and their flag is green, so this is probably where the school kids got the idea.

As you can see, there costume and dress up ideas aplenty for Saint Patrick’s Day. Be a lucky leprechaun , dress as the patron saint himself, be the kidnapping pirate, or a sexy leprechaun. At least carry a shamrock or wear something green, even if it’s just a hat, ribbons, or glasses  . . . or you may get pinched.