Yeah, I know, times are tough economically. Everyone is feeling it in one way or another. Contrary to some opinions, this is not the end of the world.

An economic crisis does not mean the end to theme parties, costumes, and good times. It’s just time to get creative and do things a bit more cheaply. Here are a few theme party ideas to grease up the gears of your imagination.

Color Party – pick your color and have everyone come dressed in that color.

Wig Party – everyone wears a wig, the crazier the better.

Shades Party – everyone wears glasses of some type or another. Big, brighter, wilder is the way to go.

Mustache Party – Draw on the mustache or buy one. This is guaranteed to bring smiles and laughs all the way around.

Clash Party – take some of this and some of that from your own closet, costume chest, or anywhere you can find stuff. Mix and purposely don’t match. Go out of your way to create the most conflicting, clashing, eye-assaulting outfit possible.

Drag Party – guys go as girls and girls go as guys.

Homeless Party – this is only for those who aren’t totally freaking out about the economy. Have everyone dress like the homeless. For those who want to go all the way with this theme, just skip showering and shaving and you’ll nail it. Another way you can really do the homeless look in a big way, and not be offensive to other’s noses, is to arrive with a shopping cart in tow.

Something mystical, supernatural, and terrifying happens when we get within 10 days of Halloween. People, all of a sudden, realize, “Oh my God! It’s almost Halloween and I don’t have a clue what to be!!!”

Everyone knows its October. And they know the big event of the month is Halloween, because it’s the monster party of the year. So why the last minute panic-attack? Here’s my theory on the cause of this frightful phenomenon. Rest assured, it is based on years of study, probing interviews, along with tapping of phone lines and other highly-sophisticated, spy-type behaviors I learned by watching Alias (and that Sydney Bristow, she knew a thing or two about the whole spy-gig and about costumes!)

While the dates stay in the single digits and teens (October 1st – 19th), everyone (except for the true geniuses out there) thinks they still have plenty of time. This is also known as “denial.” Then it happens, the 20th of the month appears, and it hits them like an egg in the face. This moment of revelation is usually accompanied by a rapid heartbeat, breaking out in a sweat, and several moments of complete panic.

Once we hit the 20th of the month, well, then it becomes undeniable — the 31st is almost here. Now it’s just days away instead of months. If you are one of the many who have yet to come up with a costume, let alone a great costume idea, I’m here to coach you through this moment. First BREATHE in and out deeply, several times.

Then ponder these questions:

1. How many parties am I going to?
2. How many costumes do I need?
3. Is there a certain theme to the party?
4. What look am I aiming for? (Sexy? Funny? Live out my fantasies? Be totally opposite ofwho I usually am? Pay homage to a favorite movie, character, person, or band? Express your naughty side, your dark side? )
5. Am I dressing as a couple or group?
6. How much money do I have to spend?
   
   These should help stir up some thoughts, and maybe point you in the direction of this year’s Halloween costume. Spend a few minutes, ponder a bit, jump online and browse, or hit your local year-round costume shop for some inspiration. (Did I mention, we are 52 Helena St. in Santa Barbara, CA?)

Then, in the name of all things Halloweeny, start putting your costume together! Like today!!! Seriously . .. NOW!!! If you wait, the symptoms of I-Don’t-Have-A-Costume-Itis become even more severe. And you even run the risk of developing a terminal case of the last-minute-losers. These are the folks who finally come up with a great idea, but can’t then find it anywhere. Or it’s too late to have it shipped on time. Don’t be one of those who end up having to settle for throwing a sheet over their head, and being a ghost.

For the last three years, as part of the halftime show during the Super Bowl, fans have been entertained with the Lingerie Bowl. Outfitted in matching bra and undie sets, along with helmets, shoulder pads, knee and elbow pads, two teams of good-looking, women battled it out on the grid iron.

Gotta love the cleats, with athletic tape — what a great combo with lingerie!

What once existed only in the realm of every man’s fantasies, is now going to have its place in the real world. This skin-baring halftime event, is growing into a league of its own, the Lingerie Football League.

Ten teams, with 12 players per team, will play an eight game season, uniformed up in crowd-pleasing lingerie. The top two teams will then compete in the Lingerie Bowl on Super Bowl Sunday! Tryouts were held just days ago, where looks and some level of athleticism were rated. Looks, of course, being the most important quality being assessed -this is the Lingerie Football League, so how one looks in lingerie is a key factor. Football skills would be taught later.

Skimpy panties and bras, adorning curvaceous beauties, who are out there trying to run, catch, throw a block and ultimately score will be the ultimate entertainment for many.

Uniform malfunction in the making!

I can’t help but wonder . . .
where will the teams’ names and logos go?
will numbers and player names be on the lingerie or painted on their bodies?
what sorts of new penalties will be created (“uniform malfunction, automatic first down”)?
do they have full uniform practices?