Clean cut, marketing exec Paul Longmire was only out for an evening with friends in Lancashire, UK. But with the power of a borrowed costume, the man became a real hero and even saved Lois Lane. Granted, her name is Elizabeth, she’s married and they aren’t planning on hooking up, but he saved her all the same.
Elizabeth had a few drinks while out with her sister and unknowingly, she drank a little something spiked with Rohypnol or GHB. Within a few minutes she was spotted stumbling around and ended up flat on the floor.
Enter Superman. So he didn’t come out the phone booth, but he was there in the blink of an eye. Even held in his arms, the 26-year-old woman still couldn’t stand up and the hero swept her off of feet and carried her outside to a waiting ambulance (did he have a hotline to the hospital or something?). Superman sacrificed his cape in the name of bravery and after wrapping her in it, melted away from the scene.
She awoke hours later in the hospital where the doctors informed her she had been drugged. Her thoughts turned to what she was saved from… and the dramatic music in the hospital room reached a crescendo.
Determined to thank the hero, Elisabeth put out an ad in the local paper. And Superman, contrary to all the unwritten laws of superhero etiquette, answered the ad. Now they’re friends on Facebook and this guy must have dates lined up a mile deep. Wouldn’t you go after the most powerful man on earth? Those tights really accentuate his legs.
Do you think Paul would have had it in him without the superhero costume? Would he have left the rescue to someone else or did the suit embolden him to go above and beyond? Perhaps we’ll never know and probably Elizabeth doesn’t care. He was there when she needed him.
The next logical step is to write a new Superman movie and make Clark Kent leave reporting and head to marketing. And move from Metropolis to Greater Manchester, UK.
The final two days before Halloween are pure craziness. Mostly guys in the throws of last minute desperation. It’s nuts! We had a line down the street to get in the store and people smashed into every open space. This was a situation that needed some SUPERness. So out came the seasonal superhero – the Halloween Hero! She appears every Halloween to rescue those poor helpless folks who wait until the last minute to get their costumes. Faster than a speeding witch, stronger than Frankenstein, able to point customers to their perfect costume in a single wave. Someone suggested a name change – she may be called the Great Pumpkin in years to come. Something to ponder for the next 12 months.
