Yeah, I know, times are tough economically. Everyone is feeling it in one way or another. Contrary to some opinions, this is not the end of the world.

An economic crisis does not mean the end to theme parties, costumes, and good times. It’s just time to get creative and do things a bit more cheaply. Here are a few theme party ideas to grease up the gears of your imagination.

Color Party – pick your color and have everyone come dressed in that color.

Wig Party – everyone wears a wig, the crazier the better.

Shades Party – everyone wears glasses of some type or another. Big, brighter, wilder is the way to go.

Mustache Party – Draw on the mustache or buy one. This is guaranteed to bring smiles and laughs all the way around.

Clash Party – take some of this and some of that from your own closet, costume chest, or anywhere you can find stuff. Mix and purposely don’t match. Go out of your way to create the most conflicting, clashing, eye-assaulting outfit possible.

Drag Party – guys go as girls and girls go as guys.

Homeless Party – this is only for those who aren’t totally freaking out about the economy. Have everyone dress like the homeless. For those who want to go all the way with this theme, just skip showering and shaving and you’ll nail it. Another way you can really do the homeless look in a big way, and not be offensive to other’s noses, is to arrive with a shopping cart in tow.

Something mystical, supernatural, and terrifying happens when we get within 10 days of Halloween. People, all of a sudden, realize, “Oh my God! It’s almost Halloween and I don’t have a clue what to be!!!”

Everyone knows its October. And they know the big event of the month is Halloween, because it’s the monster party of the year. So why the last minute panic-attack? Here’s my theory on the cause of this frightful phenomenon. Rest assured, it is based on years of study, probing interviews, along with tapping of phone lines and other highly-sophisticated, spy-type behaviors I learned by watching Alias (and that Sydney Bristow, she knew a thing or two about the whole spy-gig and about costumes!)

While the dates stay in the single digits and teens (October 1st – 19th), everyone (except for the true geniuses out there) thinks they still have plenty of time. This is also known as “denial.” Then it happens, the 20th of the month appears, and it hits them like an egg in the face. This moment of revelation is usually accompanied by a rapid heartbeat, breaking out in a sweat, and several moments of complete panic.

Once we hit the 20th of the month, well, then it becomes undeniable — the 31st is almost here. Now it’s just days away instead of months. If you are one of the many who have yet to come up with a costume, let alone a great costume idea, I’m here to coach you through this moment. First BREATHE in and out deeply, several times.

Then ponder these questions:

1. How many parties am I going to?
2. How many costumes do I need?
3. Is there a certain theme to the party?
4. What look am I aiming for? (Sexy? Funny? Live out my fantasies? Be totally opposite ofwho I usually am? Pay homage to a favorite movie, character, person, or band? Express your naughty side, your dark side? )
5. Am I dressing as a couple or group?
6. How much money do I have to spend?
   
   These should help stir up some thoughts, and maybe point you in the direction of this year’s Halloween costume. Spend a few minutes, ponder a bit, jump online and browse, or hit your local year-round costume shop for some inspiration. (Did I mention, we are 52 Helena St. in Santa Barbara, CA?)

Then, in the name of all things Halloweeny, start putting your costume together! Like today!!! Seriously . .. NOW!!! If you wait, the symptoms of I-Don’t-Have-A-Costume-Itis become even more severe. And you even run the risk of developing a terminal case of the last-minute-losers. These are the folks who finally come up with a great idea, but can’t then find it anywhere. Or it’s too late to have it shipped on time. Don’t be one of those who end up having to settle for throwing a sheet over their head, and being a ghost.

For the last three years, as part of the halftime show during the Super Bowl, fans have been entertained with the Lingerie Bowl. Outfitted in matching bra and undie sets, along with helmets, shoulder pads, knee and elbow pads, two teams of good-looking, women battled it out on the grid iron.

Gotta love the cleats, with athletic tape — what a great combo with lingerie!

What once existed only in the realm of every man’s fantasies, is now going to have its place in the real world. This skin-baring halftime event, is growing into a league of its own, the Lingerie Football League.

Ten teams, with 12 players per team, will play an eight game season, uniformed up in crowd-pleasing lingerie. The top two teams will then compete in the Lingerie Bowl on Super Bowl Sunday! Tryouts were held just days ago, where looks and some level of athleticism were rated. Looks, of course, being the most important quality being assessed -this is the Lingerie Football League, so how one looks in lingerie is a key factor. Football skills would be taught later.

Skimpy panties and bras, adorning curvaceous beauties, who are out there trying to run, catch, throw a block and ultimately score will be the ultimate entertainment for many.

Uniform malfunction in the making!

I can’t help but wonder . . .
where will the teams’ names and logos go?
will numbers and player names be on the lingerie or painted on their bodies?
what sorts of new penalties will be created (“uniform malfunction, automatic first down”)?
do they have full uniform practices?

All bow before His Royal Highness, that illustrious piece of costumery, the All-Powerful WIG! What? How dare you not bow?! Who do you think you are to show such disrespect to his majesty? You surely would bow if you but understood the far-reaching influence of this oft-underestimated item. So, this once, I shall spare you the punishment normally handed out for failing to show proper reverence to the almighty wig – beheading, of course – and shall instead enlighten you.

Though the wig may seem to you nothing more than an afterthought or a mere accessory when it comes to costumes and disguises, nothing could be further from the truth. The wig has a power all its own. Take time to ponder the following examples of just a few of the wig’s grand uses.

~Place a wig on your head and a transformation occurs. It magically allows you to take on a whole different persona. Put your average person in room full of wigs and watch how their facial expressions, body language, and behavior change with each wig they put on.

~It is virtually impossible to stay in a bad mood once you have placed a fun wig on your head. Wigs have the uncanny ability to cheer people up and make them smile and laugh.

~For certain looks, a particular hairstyle is an absolute must. For example you must have the rocker hair if you are in (or pretending to be in) an 80’s metal band. An afro is a key ingredient for the disco look. A bouffant or greased back ducktail is the only way to be really convincing for a 50’s look. There are so many situations like these, but do you really want to make a permanent change to your real hairstyle. Get a mullet, afro, or dread locks and see how well that goes over at the office. Wigs let you create that perfect look, without changing your everyday appearance.

~Gotta go undercover? All it takes a wig and you have everything you need to take on a secret identity. Don’t believe me? Ha, just watch a few episodes of Alias. All, secret agent, Sidney Bristow (Jennifer Garner) has to do is throw on a wig, and presto! – no one recognizes her.

~Wigs give those of us with a truly nutty, wild side a way to express it or give it an outlet. Turn a stroll though downtown into a wacky wig walk. Grab some fellow nutjobs, throw on some fun wigs and take a walk in a busy downtown. You’ll have a blast and be true entertainment for the crowds at the same time. Heading to a formal affair that has the potential of being a bit stiff and boring – a wedding, a fancy dance, funeral? Go ahead wear the tux, suit, or formal dress and top it off with a crazy wig – that’ll spice the whole thing up a bit. Your yearbook picture will be so much more fun and unique when wearing a wild wig. Everyone will remember you for years to come. Heck, just wear a costume wig to do your grocery shopping or house cleaning and it will take on a whole new feel.

~Test drive a new hairdo or color before you take the leap. Wear a wig in the style or color you are contemplating. It’s a great way to try before you buy. You may find that redheads do have more fun. Or you may discover that style that you thought was so sexy on Miss Famous-So-And-So, looks utterly hideous on you. Won’t you be glad you did the wig test drive first!

~Ease the suffering and avoid ultimate humiliation with a wig. Maybe your barber or hairdresser was having a bad day and you ended up with a butt-ugly hairdo. You don’t have to endure shame and embarrassment while you wait for it to grow out. Just wear a wig instead.

~Times are tough financially, but that’s no reason to miss out on the fun of having a great costume at your next theme party. A great, yet totally affordable costume wig plus a trip to the thrift store equals a great outfit. Just think of all the possibilities – from clown, to disco, to 80’s rocker, to 70’s, to white trash, to hippie, and the list goes on and on.

I can already feel your remorse for refusing to bow to the All-Powerful Wig at the beginning of this post. You are now beginning the realize the grand place the wig has in the costume world.

Ah, but there are so many more potential uses, so many ways to give the wig it’s proper place. To show your admiration and respect of the wig put on an event where the wig is the central theme. A Wig Party is a great theme party to have. It’s cheap and easy to do. The only requirement is that all attendees come wearing a wig (you might want to have a few extra wigs handy. There’s always someone who will show up without one). You can give a prize for the best wig. You can have a wig exchange, throwing all wigs into a pile then taking turns either picking a wig from the pile or off someone else’s head. In the end you’ll leave with a different wig than you wore when you arrived. Whatever you choose to do Wig Parties are always a good bet. Wigs bring out more laughing, more joking around, more energetic dancing, and more all-around fun.

Another great wig-centered event would be to organize or take part in a Wig Walk or Wig Run. Do this just for fun or for charity. Just keep the distance short (1-3 miles should do the trick), since wearing a wig will have your head heating up pretty quickly. Or keep it all cool with a Wig Paddle or Surf.

Now that you have been edumacated on some of the wonders of the wig, I’m sure you are quite prepared to show proper homage to His Royal Highness the Wig in the future. For your next costume, pick the wig first and build from there, or go with just a wig (that’ll get you some attention). And whatever other ways you choose to honor the Almighty Wig, don’t forget to bow.

Well here we go again, movie-goers! Can there ever be too much Star Wars?! Well, actually there were a moments there, while watching one of the prequels (which shall remain nameless), where I thought so, but overall, I think the answer is No.

Summer movies always give us great ideas for awesome Halloween costumes. And this year we’ve had quite a few movies that had some fun costumes. Now, don’t go all Movie Critic on me. Don’t get all bogged down on how good the acting was, or whether or not it was a brilliant script, or if a movie will get nominated for an Oscar.

So not the point.

Just think about the outfits, the look, the costumes. There were some fun ones weren’t there?? Oh yeah. And there are more movies to come. So over the next few blogs let’s talk about which movie costumes would make fun Halloween costumes.

Let’s start with two movies. One that, if you want to dress up as for Halloween, you should so make for yourself and one that you probably shouldn’t.

Everyone’s favorite archaeologist made his return to the big screen this year, and Professor Jones was looking pretty good after being gone for years. The classic Indiana Jones look was all there. What a fun and simple costume. You can make this one yourself. Just hop on down to your local thrift store and you’ll be able to find the khaki shirt and pants. You’ll want to start now looking for a leather or faux leather jacket. Throw on some hiking or work boots and you are almost there. A brown fedora is a must for this look, so you can head down to any good hat store and get yourself a real one or you can pick up a costume fedora for much cheaper. All you need to finish up the look is a bullwhip – which I suppose you could make on your own. I think I’d save myself hours of learning leather craft and just buy one.

Then we had Iron Man hit the big screen. Finally a movie that wasn’t a sequel or a remake. Nice. And some out there are saying this is possibly one of the very best superhero movies ever made. Whatever you may have thought of the movie, Robert Downey Jr., or how true it was to the comic book, you have to admit, the outfit was pretty stinking cool.

I’ve read about a few people who have tried to come up with their own homemade version. Well there was one guy, who spent months and thousands of dollars coming up with his own custom made Iron Man costume. How many of you really have those resources? I saw some other ideas that even the creators admitted looked just plain hokey – layered t-shirts and face paint. So, for this costume I have to vote for buying the pre-made type. It’s got the classic comic book look, a really cool helmet and muscles, and would be great fun for anyone who’s got superhero longings or ambitions.

Once you’ve got the costume on just remember to walk tall and strong – shoulders back, head held high. You’re an invincible superhero now!

Here we go for my final thoughts on the Rosarito to Ensenada Fun Bike Ride from April. Beyond the costumes and accoutrements (don’t you just love that word) there were other parts of the ride I just have to comment on. I could justify my need to comment by saying it’s for all of those out there considering the ride. I could say it’s that I want to help my fellow fun-loving cyclists have the best experience in future rides. That sounds so good, but, let’s get real. I’m sharing my all-important, ever-so-valuable, opinions on all things Yippee and Yucko, because I can. Sort of like climbing a mountain just because it’s there.

These things deserve a Yippee Award. They made the whole day even better.
Yippee . . . .
~to the one-legged rider! You make us all feel like we can do anything we set our minds to.
~to the “big” people who didn’t walk their bikes during the tough parts.
~for the unexpected route. I thought we were going to take the main road, but instead it was the alternate route through the hillsides.
~for the closed roads – keeping us all alive for another day.
~for the kids who rode
~for the guy on the elliptical bike – never seen one of those before
~for the family on the tandem bike with the attached trailer. Now that took some effort
~to the inline skaters who did the whole 50 miles and kept up with the cyclists
~for no kidnappings or muggings (that I know) of, that our friends and families were so sure would happen
~for the shuttle return. They took good care of our bikes and the ride was comfortable. Enough with the horror stories.
~to the guys with the most unique roadside sign “Show Us Your Tits.” Now that was creative.

If I have a Yippee, you gotta have a Yuck Award as well.
Yuck . . .
~to those walking their bikes for no good reason – no injury, no malfunction
~to the guy hauling humongous speakers in his bike trailer and blasting his music in our ears
~to the guy who grabbed on to the passing truck and hitched a ride
~for the first few miles – way to crowded with crazy, scary, kamikaze riders

As you can see, hardly any Yucks. I loved this ride and this experience. So, if you’ve been considering joining this ride next time, consider no longer. Go do it . . . . in costume, of course.